A Letter To My Son
I am going to do something a little different but I have been feeling very reflective lately and I realise I have never really done anything like this before. It has always been something I wanted to do but I just never got around to it.
My decision to post this has been tough but I feel important as I feel many will benefit from the message inside.
To my son,
We have had such a rollercoaster since you have been born, there have been many highs but also many lows. New people have come into our life and we have also lost many people as well. We have had countless new experiences and we have learnt so much.
You alone have taught me so much and you do not even realise it. You always assume as a parent that you are the teacher, and yes to some extend that is true, but from being your mummy I have learnt so much, and I don’t just mean about characters from shows/ films.
You have taught me so much about the world and also about myself. I have seen things I never thought possible, experienced things I never thought possible, done things I never thought possible. My whole outlook on life is completely different, when I look back at who I was before you were born, I do not recognise that person.
That person was weak and did not believe in herself, she did not see her worth. She was quite happy to let people walk all over her if it meant having an easy life. However, I cannot be that person anymore no matter how hard I try. I have someone who needs me to be strong, who needs me to believe in myself, who needs me to know my worth, and who needs me to stand up for myself and for them.
By being all those things for you, I have learnt how to be all those things for myself. This is not news for me, I have known for some time that I have changed since having you.
The biggest change for me recently was realising that I no longer do those things only for you or your benefit, but I am starting to do these things for myself and my benefit as well.
This does not mean that you are not important and/ or I do not love you. However, how am I supposed to teach you how to love and value yourself when I cannot do that myself?
You are so important and so I am. I hope that you never have to face the struggles I have in order to discover your importance. I hope that you always know your worth, because you are amazing, kind, considerate, cheeky, and wonderful. I hope the world never takes the belief in yourself away from you.
However, if it does then I am here for you, forever and always.